Stuff's actually happening, shocking!

You all can rest easy now. The work has picked up, and I finally feel like I'm in med school. . .that's still so weird. Anyway, I'm already kinda behind on my studying, but I'm learning a lot about various diseases and ethical issues in medicine. We have one class where patients come in and talk to us about their conditions and experiences with doctors. It's actually pretty amazing listening to these people. All of them so far have chronic diseases like thalamic pain syndrome (more on that later), severe asthma and non-Hodgkin's lymphoma (lymph node cancer). It's crazy hearing their stories because their lives completely changed when they got these diseases, and they're so honest and optimistic about it. It's seriously amazing how strong some people are.

Also, I'm more sure than ever that I'm going into neurosurgery, because apparently I totally can. Yeah, you heard that right. It's a hard field to get into because it is super small and everyone kinda knows each other, but I guess this is where going to a private school really helps. Everyone here is incredibly helpful to students. There's a neurosurg interest group that works directly with the neurosurgeons. I'm actually shadowing one tomorrow in the clinic (I can also go into the operating room whenever I want as well, I'm so fucking excited about that). I'll be shadowing a doctor that specializes in treating pain and brain tumors.

I didn't realize, but pain is becoming a huge issue because now we're understanding the biological basis of it more and more. The thalamic pain syndrome patient actually can't have surgery because the thalamus is deep inside the brain. . .and surgeons can get to it, but they have no idea what to cut out. So she can somewhat manage the pain with drugs. Now there's a big debate about painkillers and they might become harder to get, which really sucks for someone like her. Stupid puritanical country.

At the interest group meeting, the faculty adviser gave a short presentation on neurosurgery. Now, I've noticed this a bit, but it became clear after this presentation, doctors like referring to their specialty as something they 'get off on.' Ask a doctor why he likes functional neurosurg versus vascular neurosurg, it's because he didn't 'get off on' the vascular stuff. I think I finally understand this, because neurosurg 'excites' me. I don't exactly get off to. . .er, on it in a literal sense, but it's spec-fucking-tacularly mind-blowing and I like that. And cue Amanda making an incredibly inappropriate yet hilarious masturbatory gesture. . .now. :)

I can see myself doing it for the rest of my life. Even if less than 10% of all neurosurgeons in the country are female. Like in California, out of about 550 neurosurgeons, 40 are female. 40. That's kinda depressing. But the one female neurosurgeon at Northwestern is out on maternity leave, so apparently I don't need to be alone and super macho for the rest of my life. That's a good thing, because I don't think I do macho very well. . .I should stop there.

Anyway, this can all change tomorrow at clinic, but be sure that I'll write about the experience even if you all find this incredibly boring. I'm just that kind of blogger.